TOYOTA TO RECALL FOR VANITY MIRROR DEFECT

Toyota Motor Company of America today announced that it will recall more than 2 million vehicles to inspect them for a possible vanity mirror defect.

The mirrors, which are embedded into the sun visors on the passenger side of the vehicles, can reportedly become distorted, causing female passengers checking their makeup to scream abruptly, thus frightening the driver and causing a possible fatal collision.

Said a Toyota spokeman, Toshiro Tashimoto, "Until an effective repair has been developed, we recommend that all owners wrap duct tape around the mirror to prevent its use. Or just stop checking yourself out so much." He then plunged a Samurai sword into his midsection.

Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood, upon hearing the news, stated, "If I were an owner of one of these vehicles, I would immediately panic, remove the engine from the vehicle and weld the doors shut."