Sunday, February 21, 2010


Hollywood - Black activist Reverend Al Sharpton held a news conference today in this entertainment capital to protest what he called "the total and systematic exclusion of African-American actors from home security system commercials."

Speaking while flanked by a phalanx of African-American actors, Sharpton said, "If you look closely at these commercials, they all have one thing in common: a lily-white actor playing the thug who tries to break into the house and attack the young girl who lives there. I just cannot accept that a Black man can't play a dangerous home attacker every bit as convincingly as a White actor can."

To drive home his point, Sharpton called upon John Braxton, an accomplished stage actor who trained with the Royal Shakespeare Company, to speak. Said Braxton, "This is an outrage! If I can play Hamlet, I can certainly play a sex-crazed home invasion attacker."

When reached for comment, Brinks Home Security issued a written statement, stating: "We want the public to know that we have heard from the Reverend Sharpton, and we have already directed our advertising agency to conduct focus groups to see if the public would find an African-American attacker at all believable. If we conclude that they might, we would naturally try our best to introduce more diversity into our roster of attackers."

Meanwhile, former NAACP Executive Director Julian Bond, when informed of Sharpton's new campaign, proceeded to bang his head against the wall.

(c) 2010 Barry Rabin. All rights reserved.

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