JANET JACKSON'S LEFT BREAST SUES NFL

Jacksonville – In what some court watchers say is an unprecedented move, attorneys for pop star Janet Jackson’s left breast filed a 32-count civil suit against the National Football League claiming discrimination for refusing to feature it in this year’s planned Super Bowl halftime show.

Jackson, who incurred the wrath of government regulators and parents groups alike last year when she exposed her right breast during the halftime show, is trying to get the courts to force the NFL to allow her back on the show during this year’s game.

Booked for the show instead is former Beatle Paul McCartney, who is expected to perform an entire song without exposing himself.

Said lead attorney Johnny Cochran, “If the bra isn’t gone, the show can’t go on!”

© 2005 Barry Rabin. All rights reserved.