GREENSPAN FARTS, SENDS MARKETS TUMBLING

Washington – An unexpected fart from the rear end of Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan sent the U.S. financial markets tumbling today.

Greenspan, who was testifying in front of the House Committee on Economic Confusion, reportedly let loose with an audible blast just as he was finishing his semi-annual report. Ten minutes later, the Dow Jones Industrials had already lost 500 points.

A Fed spokesman later in the day assured reporters that the chairman’s “irrational exuberance was due to an excess of Mexican food at lunch, not to any specific concerns about the economic recovery,” saying that Mr. Greenspan had “merely lost the handle on that big boy.”

By 3:00 p.m., the markets had recovered significantly.

© 2005 Barry Rabin. All rights reserved.