Wednesday, March 10, 2010
NEW SENATE RULE REQUIRES 102 VOTES
Washington - In a move that surprised Congress-watchers and historians alike, the Senate today enacted a rule that will require that at least 102 Senators vote in favor of any new legislation before it can become law.
Said one perplexed government-watcher, "It was frustrating enough that the filibuster rule required you to get 60 votes for a 'majority' to pass anything new. With this new rule, it looks pretty much hopeless that anything will pass the Congress ever again."
When asked why they didn't settle for 101 votes, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said, "We knew that in the case of a tie the Vice President can cast the deciding vote. We frankly thought that it was too risky to allow this to happen, especially since that might result in something decisive actually coming out of here."
The new rule was immediately applauded by the National Coalition for Indecision, a group made up of predatory lenders, investment bankers, heavy polluters, health insurance companies and credit card banks, A spokesman for the group, when told of the news, commented, "We're just thrilled to hear that nothing in America is going to change. Nothing. Note even the really awful stuff."
Said Congressional leaders in a joint statement, "This just shows that the bipartisan
spirit is still alive and well here in Washington."
(c) 2010 Barry Rabin. All rights reserved.