Sunday, January 03, 2010


Northwest Airlines has announced that passengers will soon have to pay extra to bring bombs on board flights.

"The airport screeners obviously can't detect these things," said one airline executive. "So the best thing we can do is to at least make these guys pay an extra fee to help defray our costs."

The executive went on to list a number of extra expense items his airline might have to incur again in the future, including replacing burned blankets, recharging fire extinguishers and reupholstering seats scorched by defective "pants bombs."

An al Qaida spokesman in Yemen immediately denounced the new policy, pointing out that "We already pay enough for those same day tickets, plus we pay in cash, so we save the airlines the cut the credit card companies take. So where do they get off hitting us with extra fees?"

The spokesman went on to say that if al Qaida wasn't trying to accumulate enough travel miles to go to Disneyworld next year, they would pull their business and switch to another airline.

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