FEMININE HYGIENE COMPANIES ANNOUNCE PLAN TO STOP GULF OIL LEAK

New Orleans - Two companies best known for their feminine protection products have announced a bold new plan to stop the underwater leak that's been releasing millions of gallons of crude oil a day into the Gulf of Mexico.

The people who market Kotex and Tampax products announced today that they have formed a joint venture in an attempt to stop the gushing oil by first inserting a giant tampon into the well pipe, and then cutting off any remaining leaks through the use of giant "sanitary napkins" to be wrapped around the opening.

Said Kotex president Herbert "Stan" Stanislavski, "I don't know why everybody's so surprised that B.P. hasn't able to shut down this leak. If you want to drill a giant hole, you bring in an oil company. If you want to stop a hole from leaking, you call us."

(c) 2010 Barry Rabin. All rights reserved.