Atlanta – CNN, America’s oldest cable news network, announced today that it is changing its name, effective immediately. The new name will be “The Runaway Bride Channel.” The change comes after days of nonstop coverage of the Georgia woman who disappeared without a trace due to pre-wedding jitters. CNN has covered the story around the clock, from its news broadcasts to the Larry King Show to even a special hour-long report on Saturday night.
Says a CNN exec, “We’ve come to realize that minor issues like the war in Iraq, nuclear proliferation, the impending collapse of the Social Security system and the millions of Americans who don’t have basic health coverage pale in comparison to a twenty-something girl who leaves the groom waiting at the altar and a wedding cake for 600 getting stale. We’re pleased to have finally found our new focus.”
The change will be official once actor James Earl Jones can record the new “You’re watching RBC!” station identification voice-over.
© 2005 Barry Rabin. All rights reserved.
